Tiffy Tries a Magic Brownie...and Get's a Surprise

Sharon’s home! Well, at my home! DAMMIT! It’s going to be her home too…cuz there ain’t no way she’s going back to hers. At least, not until they find that pyscho bitch Nurse Regina! She’s safer here with me. Anyhow, she’s napping in my bed after being released from the hospital this morning. Gawd, I hate hospitals….of course, I’ve only been in the hospital once (Knock Wood!) to have my tonsils removed when I was a kid. It’s just what you did when you were a kid, and going to the damn dentist. Let’s just say that my childhood was a sadistic sonavabitch! And I mean, if I ever saw him on the street – which is pretty unlikely – I mean he’d be over 100 years old now – but EVEN if I saw him on the street, I’m bust his chops….no matter how old he was. Because you should have used some type of painkiller before you drilled, you Fucking HEARTLESS CRUEL PIECE OF CRAP!!!

Sorry, I’m still working on my anger issues. Dino’s here, ya know, my little actor friend with the buns of steel! We’ve been trying to figure out the meaning in last night’s cupcake:

“Are you afraid of getting burnt if you get too close to happiness?”

And OMG! I think we figured it out! We searched it as a quote in Google, just to see if we got results. And we did! At first I was scared to read the results….I mean, what if it was a quote from The Unibomber, remember that weirdo and his crazy notes? What if somebody was targeting me? Like the Manson Family….I almost regretted eating the cupcakes….I mean I could have been poisoned! I mean, I was starting to hyper ventilate. Thankfully, Dino had one of his special homemade brownies, and he gave me one and said that I should only eat half…but I mean, it was chocolate! So I ate it all. And now, I’m feeling much more relaxed. And a little lightheaded…Dino said he now has to keep me company for a few hours. He also says that he’s really looking for a Sugar Daddy….

“Yes, Dino, I am gonna write that! Cuz, it’s true you silly twink…..what’s that? You’re a ‘twunk?’ What the fuck is a ‘twunk.’”

Oh… Apparently when you’re young and trim, you’re a “twink” and when you get a little older and add some muscle you become a “twunk.” Who knew? Dino just tried to explain all about otters, and wolves, all the types of bears. But I’m not able to concentrate very well right now. But I feel much more relaxed! And HUNGRY! WOW! Thank god we ordered some Chinese takeout and 30 minutes ago.….except no MSG…..cuz that crap gives me heartburn!!

Where was I? Oh, yes! OMG!!!!! So like I said, we typed the phrase into Google to see if we got some results….and OMG!! It’s a line from the Bette Davis movie, NOW VOYAGER!!! That sexy….and I understand VERY TALL! – Paul Henreid says that line to Bette Davis! And Bette Davis says to him:

“I’m immune to happiness, and therefore, it burns.”

OH! That Bette Davis got so many good lines! And could she smoke a cigarette! And every time Paul Henreid lights two cigarettes in his mouth and give her one of them….I swear I get moist every time. I keep hoping Dandy sent me the cupcakes. He’s tall like Paul Henreid, and I thihk he’s just as handsome…and so what if he’s 10 years younger than me. When Bette Davis married Gary Merrill, she was 7 years older than him. Of course, they got divorced….so maybe that’s not the greatest example.

Sorry, I’m rambling a bit; I’m feeling a great but a little light headed….and so HUNGRY! And wouldn’t you know it, there’s hardly anything in the frig. When will that Chinese food arrive! I famished!! Oh, I’m so happy…my best friend is gonna move in and I have a secret admirer! Dino says it might be a good idea for me to lie down for a little bit. But and I have such vim and vigor! I feel like cleaning the entire house…and maybe rearranging the furniture (especially since I got my little muscleman here with me!) And maybe, I’ll reorganize the cabinet, and maybe make up a grocery list….and do some laundry…and….WOW! I’m so happy and hungry!!

Oh, here’s the Chinese food at last…..

OMG! It isn’t the Chinese food at all….IT”S DANDY!!

I’M LIVING IN A BETTE DAVIS MOVIE!!!