Plant Murderer!

Well, sweethearts. The weather is gradually getting cooler each day. I especially love the cool mornings… sipping a cup of coffee with Lizzie, our corgi resting at my feet. This past summer has been especially hot, in my opinion….and the battering of our vegetation confirms it. Prior to moving to the Coachella Valley, I had quite the green thumb, which I inherited from my father. Many years ago, he was quite well known for his daylily garden which featured some of the newest varieties, including some of his own, which he hybridized, registered and sold. You see, daylilies can be registered in the same manner as roses. And my garden in Chicago featured many of the same flowers, which he mailed to me, or which I bought home after visiting my family in Louisiana. We always had quite the garden party when they were in full bloom!

Each year during the summer, our yard would be a massive explosion of color from the dozens upon dozens of daylilies in full bloom. And our yard was fairly maintenance free. In the spring the plants would emerge from the warmed, newly thawed ground. I might add some annuals among the plants. In the fall, I’d rake the leaves and use them to over the plants, providing them some protection from the long winter. In addition, our backyard was rather modest in size, and if the summer was especially dry, it was simply a matter on turning on a lawn sprinkler to soak everything for a couple of hours.

Alas, my green thumb turned brown and withered when we moved to Cathedral City. It was (and still remains to be) a learning experience, to put it kindly. Let’s just say that the lushness of my Chicago garden could not be recreated at our new home. First, the seasons are topsy turvy here….summers, rather than being the prime growing season, are rough on the plants. And during the winters, everything erupts with new growth. Wha?! The rose bushes, which get cooked in the summer, suddenly plump up in the winter and produce enough blossoms to decorate a float in the Rose Parade. Second, the vegetation in California….well, as a friend once opined….”The plants here look like they want to kill you!” The thorns here are as hard as stick pins, and I have two flat bicycle tires to prove it!

Still, when we first arrived five years ago, I was young (ok, younger), idealistic (not bitter and jaded yet), and certain to make our property a horticultural showcase. Now there was some existing vegetation on the property from the prior owner, some of which had to be removed to make way for the new swimming pool (the installation deserves its own blog entry!). And, with the exception of the hedges around the backyard fence, most of the placement of the plants seemed very haphazard, and rather ordinary….you know, the same plants you see at almost every house – bougainvillea vines, palm trees, prickly pear cactus. But I was determined that I wasn’t going to be ordinary! Ha! I had the magic touch!

We also had to replace the irrigation system. Now, I have never dealt with a system like this. In Chicago, I just planted wherever I wanted, and the rain or the garden sprinkler provided the water. Not so here. Adding (or removing) a plant means reconfiguring the system…and, really, who wants to do that?! So, you are sorta locked into your plant placement.

So after having my gardening scheme approved by the HOA (yes, there is a list of approved vegetation!), I set to work putting in all sorts of lovely specimens, which died before my eyes. Not only that, but some of the existing plants and trees started to die as well! What the hell was happening?! Our mature grapefruit tree gradually turned into a tumble weed. The same fate is currently at play with our orange tree, which is dying back faster than it can grow. The only citrus tree which seems to be flourishing is our massive lemon tree, which produced hundreds (and yes, I mean HUNDREDS) of lemons last year. And, how many lemons do you really need?! We squeezed and froze gallons of lemon juice, and every time we visited friends, we brought a huge box of lemons with us. We couldn’t get rid of them fast enough.

Gradually, I came to realize that the dead and dying trees had reached the end of their life cycle, and they just decided to give up the ghost AFTER we bought the house. Lucky us! So, we replanted. And I gradually learned which plants thrive in full fun…although they might get roasted a bit during the continuous days of scorching heat. I gradually learned to accept and work with the climate and the irrigation.

But, and there’s always a big BUT (and I’m a butt man! Keep doing those squats, men!) – BUT, there is one section of the yard which refuses to respond to my ministrations, my mindful attention….I call that area, THE CORNER OF DEATH!

Despite having plenty of sun and the right amount of water from the irrigation system, nothing seems to want to grow there! I’ve planted three cacti plants here and nothing seems to grow. Rather, they look sad before they slowly turn brown, and die…mocking me. If you’ll notice in the photo, even the hedge behind the wall of the area is dead too! Was there some satanic ritual performed there? Do I need to offer a blood sacrifice? Or maybe, I simply haven’t found the perfect plant for the corner. GRRRRR!!

I suppose establishing a new garden in a new climate is a great deal like cultivating friendships…you have appreciate the uniqueness of people rather than imposing your own demands on them. Not expecting them to be like your friends across the country... not comparing them to each other. And, yes, there just might be somebody who simply isn’t going to respond to your overtures. And maybe it’s best, after several gallant attempts to leave well enough alone. And, that’s ok too…not everybody is for you. You are fine the way you are….you simply can’t control everything.

That’s ok….to accept that life will have its obstacles and limitations. So let’s find the beauty in what we have and what we can accomplish.