Nice, Long and Dark

Yesterday evening was very rough on my nerves. The news was full of stories about the wildfires, the pandemic, the civil unrest and politics; The sky was overcast with smoke, and the sun was red. Very surreal! The stress, the goddam stress of it all.

Then I remembered the turkey leftovers in the refrigerator. In my opinion there’s only once decent meal when you cook a turkey…when it’s carved right off the bird, plopped on you plate and slathered with gravy. Everything else is left overs, depressing “nobody wants to eat“ leftovers! More stress!

So why did I cook a turkey? Remember back in March when the grocery stores were mobbed and life seemed very “Soylent Green?” Well, I went to the store and bought a turkey, thinking that we could live off it for several days rather than going all “Donner Party” on each other. People were fighting over cans of soup, so I thought I found the Holy Grail! Anyway, it had been in the deep freeze since that time, and I needed to cook it.

I was stressed and stuck with some unwanted turkey meat. And I had the morning free….so I decided the only solution was to make turkey gumbo. Now, I make gumbo all the time using various combinations of meats or seafood….usually chicken with sausage and ham, so using turkey instead of chicken was a no-brainer.

This morning I started on the roux. Now, roux is the base of the gumbo, and it’s the most difficult and time consuming ingredient. It’s a mixture of equal parts flour and fat mixed and browned slowly over the stove. And because it can be tricky, I’m just going to talk about the roux, and then we can finish the gumbo tomorrow, ok?

I highly suggest that you read this blog entry to the end before starting because I’m going to ramble along about the process. Don’t expect a professionally written and formatted recipe; it’s just little ole me here, not Julia “Save the Liver” Child. You can always tell us apart; she’s the TALLER one! But to make roux, you’ll need:

All-Purpose flour (not self-rising flour)

Fat (We’ll talk about fat in a bit.)

A nice pot with a heat conductive bottom (like All-Clad).

A long whish (preferably with a wood handle)

A large metal bowl (in case you’re not using the roux right away. I’ll explain as we go along.)

Your fat! I’m not commenting on your weight. I mean the fat that you will use. I recommend bacon drippings. If not drippings, then store-bought lard! Yes, I said lard! You can use vegetable oil, but it has to withstand high temperatures. So peanut oil would work, but not olive oil. I’m very old school and I use the fat from bacon, pot roasts, and chicken. Hardcore old school. You can really use any animal fat which solidifies at room temperature, but don't use butter unless it's highly clarified; the milk solids will burn.

Next, you heat your fat over a low flame in your nice All-Clad pot. If you don’t have something like All-Clad, then use whatever pot you might have, but place one of those perforated heat diffusers under it to insure the bottom of the pot is heating the roux equally. Add equal parts flour, and stir over the low flame until all the lumps are gone. You mixture will look like light tan glue.

Now, comes the long and tricky part…..you slowly turn your nob until you get a medium flame. A WARNING! “Now a warning?!” I love that line from DEATH BECOMES HER….one of my favorite cooking movies, you know….you play it in the background, and you can quote it verbatim. My other cooking movies are SOAPDISH and THE WIZARD OF OZ; Yes, I am gay.

The warning. Just don’t burn the roux! You can tell that your roux is burned if it starts sticking to the bottom of the pan…and black flakes rise to the surface. At this point, you’re screwed; the roux is ruined and will taste bitter. To insure that you don’t burn your roux, you have to stir it constantly with your whisk. A wooden handled whisk is best because it reduces heat conducting through the handle to your hand!. Some of your bacon crumbles might turn black during this, but that’s fine. Just don’t let the roux stick to the bottom on the pan!

And you have to stir to a long, Long, LONG TIME!...until the roux reaches a medium to darker brown color. My three-cup batch took 100 minutes! (See why you need a cooking movie?) So you might be able to race to the frig for your SECOND glass of breakfast wine, but visits to the bathroom are out! It has to be nice, long and dark…..the ROUX, you pigs! Get your mind out of the gutter!

Once it reaches the desired color, you have two options: Use it immediately or store it for later use. As they say in STEEL MAGNOLIAS, “It freezes beautifully.” I’ll talk about using it immediately tomorrow, but if you wish to store it for later use….transfer the mixture to a large metal bowl, and stir for a couple of minutes. Be careful, the mixture is like the molten core of the Earth! If you leave it in the pot, it will continue to cook, and might burn. After the roux has been stirred a couple of minutes, it can cool by itself. Once the mixture is cool, place it in an air-tight container and place it in your refrigerator or freezer.

OR……Yes, there is an “OR!”

You can buy powered or jarred roux from Amazon. I have never used the jarred, but I have used the powered variety….and it’s pretty acceptable. But, try making you own roux first.

Making the rest of the gumbo is so easy, and we will chat about that tomorrow. Right now, I have to head to the grocery store to get the remainder of the ingredients!

Stay Tuned!