Am I Carrie Bradshaw?

I’m sitting here staring at a blank computer screen……augh, too late! I just wrote a sentence. I suppose I better continue and see what evolves. I could envision myself as Ernest Hemingway – manly, rugged….suicidal. No that’s no good. Alas, the character who keeps popping into my mind is Carrie Bradshaw from SEX IN THE CITY – anxious, VERY neurotic. Yep, that’s sounds about right…to my chagrin (don’t you just love that word?). I’m chagrinned (ha! I used it again!) because I never really got into that series, and I really never liked the character of Carrie Bradshaw.

Now, in Sarah Jessica Parker’s defense, her character is the narrative voice…and that’s a tough role to play. Narrators are usually the workhorses of stories, and, usually, they are not especially interesting when compared to the other characters (everyone wants to be Samantha). In addition, they tend to comment on the action…when really you just want them to shut up so you can enjoy the story. I’ve been cast as narrators in a few plays, and the best approach to playing them is to be as unobtrusive as possible.

But Ms. Bradshaw is especially irksome. Although she writes about relationships, her personal life is a hot mess. And it frequently involves chasing the wrong man, and mucking up her chances with the various Mr. Rights who enter her life. And she always peppers her writing with annoying (slightly pretentious) rhetorical questions.

Somebody once said that if a character is especially irksome to you, it’s because you share traits which you dislike in yourself.

Is this true? Do we dislike certain people because they hold a mirror up to our flaws? (Ha! An annoying and pretentious rhetorical question!!!). Case closed!

So what do I have in common with Carrie Bradshaw? We both like attractive men (have you ever noticed that all the men in the series are gorgeous….even the homeless?!), and I do like looking stylish (although you wouldn’t know from my COVID-19 uniform of cargo shorts and baggy black t-shirts). However, unlike her, I don’t have a costumer to insure that I dress stylish every day (but what the fuck is up with that mud splattered ballerina tutu in the opening credits?! What the hell is that about?)….and unlike her, I like to eat more than air and ice cubes! Have you ever noticed that the characters in the series rarely eat heartily?

Here’s a little professional insight…that food has been sitting under the studio lights for hours during filming. Not appetizing! And if your character is directed to take a bite, you have to repeat the action every time the scene is reshot or the camera angle is changed. I had an actor friend who filmed a Red Lobster commercial….and the actors each had a brown paper bag at their feet so they could spit out the food after every take. Imagine having to bite and smile with each morsel of room temperature Shrimp Alfredo?!

But back to Carrie and me. I have to admit that, despite having comfortable lives, we tend to flounder or stumble….we always seem to question ourselves. We make mistakes…we are undeniably human, which can be very stressful especially during these uncertain times. And, dammit, I like to have all the answers. I like to be in control; I like to read the last page of a murder mystery!

I’ve mentioned to some friends that I’ve started writing a blog, and – more than once – I’ve been asked what my blog is about. Wha?! And I’ve had to acknowledge that I simply don’t know. Perhaps, it’s a way for me to gain more control and to find the answers. And while I struggle towards some level of enlightenment (ugh….that sounds so – high toned), maybe – gentle reader – we can find some answers together. At least, our hearts and minds are working towards something better….even as we stumble and get our tutus splashed with mud.