Ode to a Toilet

I’m too old to remodel anything! I know that certain people, especially GAYS (yes, it’s a stereotype, but it’s TRUE) love to remodel…but I’ve done enough to last me the rest of my life. The hubby and I pretty much remodeled (gutted down to the studs and rebuilt) almost every room of our prior home in Chicago. We put in the sweat equity which allowed us to cash purchase here in Cathedral City. But, remodeling is happening again; this time in our master bathroom. We’re replacing the tub with a larger walk-in shower (with an exterior door to the backyard), repositioning and replacing the toilet, and replacing the vanity and counter…..along with changing out the fixtures, the tile, etc.

Now, I can navigate paint swatches and upholstery fabric with the best of them. I remember browsing the Merchandise Mart in Chicago for upholstery fabric. Now, the Merchandise Mart is a HUGE wholesale series of showrooms with pretty much anything you might possibly need to sprinkle fairy dust all over your abode. But you can’t just walk in and purchase…you have to have permission from your professional designer to enter and order. Our interior designer friend, Jeff (God rest his soul) wrote out a lovely email giving us permission to be there. But we lost it! All we had was some VERY informal queeny email stating that we ought to wear leather (yes, I know….I’ll chat about that!) to give the predominantly Gay employees a thrill. And…that sexy little email is what we presented to the showroom salesmen. Oh, the smirks and twinkling eyes we confronted….and, yes, I was wearing a motorcycle jacket!

So, I can pick out Pumpkin Chiffon instead of Desert Sand for the wall colors….but present me with a blank canvas and I freeze. Anyhow, let’s just say I’m winging it with this new bathroom concept. So far I’m calling the decorating scheme STEAMPUNK IKEA….easy to clean with an odd vintage industrial vibe (I hope!).

Fortunately, I’ve retired my sledge hammer so we are having a professional come in a do the work…..but oh, the decisions! Bathrooms modelling, (like math) is HARD!...because there are so many systems (air vents, electrical, plumbing) within a relatively small area! Can’t I just go on a Caribbean cruise for a month and come back to the completed room? Can’t some mind reader just jot down and execute what I want….perfectly? Is that too much to ask?! Stay tuned for updates!